Brain dump

I miss my best friends. I miss those days when we used to sit on the terrace and yap about nothing in particular. Talks about the future and who we wanted to be and how we imagined our life post exams and school.

Silly ideas about love and life and an overwhelming desire to live them out. Random discussions over purpose and substance. Debates over the "right" and the "wrong". Heated arguments on philosophical topics.  Which were then cooled by raspberry flavoured popsicles.

Arguing over which movie to watch and how much popcorn to make. And then crying at the end of a devastatingly romantic movie and wondering if men like that existed. And if they did, why weren't they wooing us?

Pillow fights. Loud music. Midnight bike rides.

Sharing the ecstasy of buying good looking clothes cheap. Dressing up for dance parties and the facial disasters, thanks to liquid mascara. And the vows to never use it again. And again.

Reading classics and marveling at how subtle romance used to be. Listening to obscure music and mining for deeper meaning within lyrics.

Writing our own lyrics. Setting a tune. Singing on the top of our voices.

Birthdays. Bonding. Believing.
Moving out. Moving on. Moving away. 
Sticking up. Standing tall. Sitting pretty.

Even then, even now :)

Drown your sorrows in chocolate...

I feel crappy often enough.

And I usually cry it out, or crib about it, or just get some friend to give me a big hug.

Or I sulk. Like today!

But then, there was this one thing I had forgotten I used to do.

Few years ago, an artistic friend and a docile and disbelievingly innocent friend of mine, along with me, were attempting to crack the toughest exam in India, the IIT-JEE. Ok, we weren't attempting, we were kidding ourselves with thoughts of.

So, we used to do miserably. I don't even have to say I'm not kidding.

This used to upset that innocent friend of mine. And I couldn't stand her being like that.

So, in a very chirpy voice, which I could carry off then, I used to tell her,

"Let's drown our sorrows in some nice chocolate icecream!!"

Today, about four years later, I sat feeling like a useless thing..person. I was a clumsy daughter, a never there friend, and recently I had started spitting fire.

And this upset me.

I guess she couldn't stand me being like that.

So, in a very chirpy voice, which she can carry off, she said,

"Let's drown our sorrows in some nice chocolate icecream!!"

I never knew she actually did.

The beauty of friendship is that your friends can remember these little things you used to say and do, and love you for the same. And when you feel like complete scum, they can make you feel like lovable scum. And they remind you, that you are important. Cheers to friendship!

I'm really sorry for not being the nicest person to have around. A big fat thank you to all of you for being tolerant and nice, nevertheless. I can only hope, I deserve it :)

Manhood and Haha-ness

So there's a group of three guys and a girl hanging out one night. The usual gibbering lead to an interesting topic. The talk was regarding the killing of dolphins off the coast of Denmark, by young teens, as a sign of attaining maturity and proving their manhood.

The conversation went something like this.....

Girl: Sick man. That's just appalling.

Guy1, Guy2, Guy3: I know. Sick.

Long Pause.

Guy1: Sick.

Long pause.

Girl: Well, if they really want to prove their manhood, they should just get a girl pregnant. She gets pregnant, and there, you have cleared all doubts. Done.

Guy1: Actually!!

Guy2: Hmm..true!

Guy3: Really!


Pause.

Guy3(while looking up at the ceiling): But then the human rights activists would come running.....

Girl: I didn't mean forcefully dude!!

Uproarious laughter.


**The Dolphin killing in Denmark is probably true.

The meaning of friendship on a cold winter morning....

Early morning. Sometime around 6:15 AM.

Maybe I should just call it off. It's too cold in the morning to climb a hill. And too early too. Plus, I was having such a nice dream. I should call it off. Think, think of an excuse. Hmm, I'm sick. No, I..err... I hurt myself. But how? Naa... I overslept. Yes. Perfect. Believable too. I'm sure it's expected from me. It's so convenient being myself at times.

I stared at the ceiling above. I tried falling back to sleep, by snuggling deeper into my blanket and trying to remember what I was dreaming about. But, it was of no use. As expected, the phone rang.
"You awake right?", she asked.

"Ofcourse. As fresh as a daisy!", I chirped.

"Really? Anyway, see you at 7. SHARP!", she said.

"Ofcourse! I'm up and ready. Well, still got to brush, but don't you worry. I'll be there.", I sang into the phone.

I rolled in my bed for a few minutes, contemplating actually getting out.

Get up. It's good to be awake early in the morning. Exercise. Health is wealth. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man, sorry woman,healthy, wealthy and wise. Wow, I mused, my brain is gender correct in the morning. I was mildly impressed with myself.

By the time, I got out of bed, exactly 30 seconds after the completion of the "Healthy, Wealth, Wise" thought, I was singing and dancing. I spun. I bounced. I made faces in the mirror and admired the messy out of bed look.

I shouldn't comb my hair today. Look at those curls. There might be a very good looking guy hiking. Do good looking guys climb the hill in the morning?Ah, I might just get lucky. I look so happy. Bubbly bubbly. Is pink champagne really that tasty? Damn, dry skin. Where is that new lotion Mom bought? Hm.. shoot.. time to brush.
I brushed my teeth in rhythm to the latest Hindi pop songs.

I should go clubbing.But nothing beats bathroom dancing.
After I was assured I had done justice to my teeth and gums, I rummaged through my wardrobe to find something warm to wear.

God, Mom is right. I DO have too many clothes. Where's the red sweater?
I was ready when I received the customary "I'm leaving, you better be there when I reach" missed call.

As I stepped into the cold winter morning, I was instantly happier! It was a beautiful morning. Blue sky and I could make those fog cloud thingies. You know where you exhale and there's a nice cloud formation in front of your mouth? Ok yeah, so you know.

I skipped. Smiling to myself. I probably looked like an idiot, but I honestly didn't care. As long as there was no good looking guy around which, after an extensive survey of the neighbourhood, I knew wasn't.

I reached on time, and did a small victory dance for myself. Minutes later, my friend joined me and we started hiking.

Our talks were the usual.
Life. Friends. Parents. Movies. Romance. Boys. Money. Marriage. THE boy.

We laughed, remembering the silly things of the past. We took each others case over the stupid things we had done, and congratulated each other on the small, non-significant achievements which only your friends can truly appreciate.

These talks, however common they are, take a different, steeper meaning when you are with someone who has been with you for a long time and has seen you change, and appreciated the same.

There was nothing extraordinary in that morning maybe. I'm sure the sky was always as blue, and the wind just as cold, and morning air just as clean. I'm also sure we didn't speak about things we had never spoken about before or already knew.

We walked the same route, stopped at the same place, and drank chai at the same shed.


And yet, suddenly, everything felt lighter and brighter.

Pure friendship. A nice thing, I tell you.

Situations show you your true friends.

I'm glad I always saw right.

First impressions, and then some...

First impressions. How many of us reaaalllly trust them? I know if I did, I'd be pretty miserable and lonely by now. And extremely manipulated. Notice, I said manipulaTED, and not manipulative. So, you can stop shaking your head in agreement now. Or rather, if you know me at all, shake it harder! :P

So, yeah, first impressions. Man, the experiences I have had with these! First of all, with Meghana. (I'm concluding on a nice note dear, don't look so petrified!). Simply put, I hated her initially. No....wait....I didn't care much. Then I hated her....right Megs?...or was it the other way around? Anyway, yeah, I never really liked her much. I guess I have managed to emphasize that properly. :D So going on with the story, we never really hit it off. I thought she was way stuck up. Correction. She is way stuck up. :P But somewhere down the line, I realised we were really similar. We both had same thoughts, thought way too less of others (heheh) and then, we were best friends! Quite the swing, eh? On what grounds I realised, is way too embarrassing to state now, so lets leave it at that. Any questions you have, WILL NOT be answered. Megs, please don't oblige.

Second pseudo impression? Hmmm....Veni. Definitely. Did NOT like her. I still don't know why. Quite a cute, harmless looking creature! Maybe thats why!! :P But honestly, being in PICT, with her, has been good. I survived! Thanks to her. This extremely paranoid person, who thinks everyone is out to get her, and if an asteroid ever hit Earth, it'd find her first, is very adorable. And for Gods sake, I'm not lying! Really!

Pseudo impression # 3. Ankur. I thought this dude was a big, friendly giant who missed his mommy most of the times. Wait a minute......the dude IS a big, friendly giant who does miss his mommy most of the times. :D ....but still is independent, I adore you dude! And stop grinning all that much. God!

There are many more people on the list. Smriti. Though that was not exactly a "bad" impression. I just did NOT know how to act around her. Both of us are quite different in methods of expression. But, all said and done, we get along quite well now. :)
Gayatri. What a story. From tattletaling to teachers, and now to hanging out whenever possible, it's been quite a roller coaster ride. And just as fun! Then Rahul, from the highly snobbish male to the extremely, genuinely helpful and dependable guy I now know him as.

For me, the ones I dislike initially, I gel well with later and vice versa. Hmm, gives a lil 'zing' to relationships, eh?