The meaning of friendship on a cold winter morning....

Early morning. Sometime around 6:15 AM.

Maybe I should just call it off. It's too cold in the morning to climb a hill. And too early too. Plus, I was having such a nice dream. I should call it off. Think, think of an excuse. Hmm, I'm sick. No, I..err... I hurt myself. But how? Naa... I overslept. Yes. Perfect. Believable too. I'm sure it's expected from me. It's so convenient being myself at times.

I stared at the ceiling above. I tried falling back to sleep, by snuggling deeper into my blanket and trying to remember what I was dreaming about. But, it was of no use. As expected, the phone rang.
"You awake right?", she asked.

"Ofcourse. As fresh as a daisy!", I chirped.

"Really? Anyway, see you at 7. SHARP!", she said.

"Ofcourse! I'm up and ready. Well, still got to brush, but don't you worry. I'll be there.", I sang into the phone.

I rolled in my bed for a few minutes, contemplating actually getting out.

Get up. It's good to be awake early in the morning. Exercise. Health is wealth. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man, sorry woman,healthy, wealthy and wise. Wow, I mused, my brain is gender correct in the morning. I was mildly impressed with myself.

By the time, I got out of bed, exactly 30 seconds after the completion of the "Healthy, Wealth, Wise" thought, I was singing and dancing. I spun. I bounced. I made faces in the mirror and admired the messy out of bed look.

I shouldn't comb my hair today. Look at those curls. There might be a very good looking guy hiking. Do good looking guys climb the hill in the morning?Ah, I might just get lucky. I look so happy. Bubbly bubbly. Is pink champagne really that tasty? Damn, dry skin. Where is that new lotion Mom bought? Hm.. shoot.. time to brush.
I brushed my teeth in rhythm to the latest Hindi pop songs.

I should go clubbing.But nothing beats bathroom dancing.
After I was assured I had done justice to my teeth and gums, I rummaged through my wardrobe to find something warm to wear.

God, Mom is right. I DO have too many clothes. Where's the red sweater?
I was ready when I received the customary "I'm leaving, you better be there when I reach" missed call.

As I stepped into the cold winter morning, I was instantly happier! It was a beautiful morning. Blue sky and I could make those fog cloud thingies. You know where you exhale and there's a nice cloud formation in front of your mouth? Ok yeah, so you know.

I skipped. Smiling to myself. I probably looked like an idiot, but I honestly didn't care. As long as there was no good looking guy around which, after an extensive survey of the neighbourhood, I knew wasn't.

I reached on time, and did a small victory dance for myself. Minutes later, my friend joined me and we started hiking.

Our talks were the usual.
Life. Friends. Parents. Movies. Romance. Boys. Money. Marriage. THE boy.

We laughed, remembering the silly things of the past. We took each others case over the stupid things we had done, and congratulated each other on the small, non-significant achievements which only your friends can truly appreciate.

These talks, however common they are, take a different, steeper meaning when you are with someone who has been with you for a long time and has seen you change, and appreciated the same.

There was nothing extraordinary in that morning maybe. I'm sure the sky was always as blue, and the wind just as cold, and morning air just as clean. I'm also sure we didn't speak about things we had never spoken about before or already knew.

We walked the same route, stopped at the same place, and drank chai at the same shed.


And yet, suddenly, everything felt lighter and brighter.

Pure friendship. A nice thing, I tell you.

Carpe Diem

I think about Now.
And it all seems Alright.

But then a thought about the Future
just turns off the Light.

I'm not a person who worries,
I'd live without a Care,
but this Future makes me uneasy,
It spoils my Everyday


Calling those who "Carpe Diem" for an inspiring conversation.....

:)

Rollicking laughter,
Peals of joy
Silly, funny,
Times enjoyed

Silence, whispers,
Secrets shared
Living the present,
Past uncared

Richness, greatness,
Dreams galore
Happy, smiling,
But hungry for more

The thing

"You still have this?!?", she asked incredulously.

"Yes, why?"

"It's so old! Didn't think you'd still have it around!", she said.

"Why not? What did you expect? That I'd throw it away?", I being incredulous now.

"Well, YEAH!", she exclaimed.

I frowned.

"I mean, it is nice. But that's about it! Does it even serve any purpose now? Plus, it takes up so much space! It's always in the way! Don't you think you're better off without it?", she asked.

I scowled.

"Welcome to the modern world honey!Nice doesn't cut it anymore! You need fast, efficient, functional! Time for an upgrade! And YOU are the one in the techie industry. YOU are supposed to keep pace.But you act like an, what do they call it, obsolete version?", she laughed.

"It's pathetic how you try to make techie jokes. Leave it to us geeks! Not that I'm implying I'm a geek".

She smirked.

"But that's besides the point. It's not about it being old, and serving some purpose, which by the way it did, some time ago. But... I've grown used to it. I'm... comfortable with it. It's comfortable".

I paused.

"And, I'm not a geek!"

"Correction! It was comfortable! I mean, look at it. The thing is..is... oh, its horrible! And the only one who seems to care about having it around is YOU. God alone knows why.Have you seen what the world has been coming up with while you decide to stay loyal to this... thing?!", she asked.

"It's not a thing!"

"OH MY GOD! It IS a thing!". She punched it. "See, NO feelings!"

"Well, yes, that way it is a thing."

"O.k, I'm waiting for you to start making sense here. And I'd love it if you hurried up!"

"Fine... but I don't see the point, because you aren't really going to agree. But here goes, ...I've had that "thing" around for a long time. I remember I was so excited when I first got it! I sat with it for a whole month! I was addicted! I thought it was the best thing ever! Absolutely fabulous, and way ahead of it's time! And though, it has become outdated?... I still like it. It reminds me... of how happy I used to get playing around with it. Hey, don't look at me like that! It's perfectly normal to get attached to "things"! It's only human! And you are one to talk! You kept that silly old..."

"OOOOKAY! Don't get started on that now! One thing I tell you and you never let me live it down!The embarassment just never ends!"

I giggled.
She sighed.

"I'm not saying it's unnatural to get attached to things. Hell, I do! But there's no point in doing so, if it ends up being a pain!See, you try fixing this thing like every month. It's fine for sometime, and then it's baccck to square one. And you get upset, because you have spent so much time, energy, money on it, so you expect it to run fine, but that thing doesn't give two hoots does it? DOES IT?" she said, actually yelled the last bit.

"Well.... maybe if I tried...."

"NO! No try, I beg of you. Just junk it. We'll go shopping today!Babe, you have not seen what's out there! We live in a very cool world. And you want to act Nomadic. I mean, the whole cave woman thing is sexy, but not in this context."

"Hmmm...."

"As in, you can try the whole wild ...."

"I know what context you meant it in!"

"Oh ok."

We laughed.

"So, you are junking it right? Please throw that thing out, I can't stand the sight of it!"

"I guess you are right. It does demand a lot of attention. And it is not at all co operative. And I don't like non co operation. From anything", I winked.

"Now you're talking! Ooo yeah ooo yeahh!!"

"You are an idiot!"

"I'm just happy!You are silly.Crazy!"

"The respect is mutual"

"Sooo... what are you going to buy? I saw this really cool one the other day, it was so hot!"

"Hot?"

"Yes, H-O-T. Like hot man. What you asking "Hot"?"

"I thought "things" couldn't be hot!"

"Anything can be hot!"

"Agreed!"


** A modified conversation.
A pretense. A story.
Inspired. True.
Said it................Said 'nuff **

Life...and some music....

"
I've been swimming in a sea of anarchy
I've been living on coffee and nicotine
I've been wondering if all the things I've seen
Were ever real, were ever really happening

Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine "

We sang on the top of our voices. We sang without caring if the neighbours heard us, if we were off key, if we lost our voices.

Completely surrendered to the song and to Sheryl Crows view on life.

It felt nice that somebody famous could be so relatable. If thats a word.

And of course, we were not on nicotine.

We all knew that we'd have to go back to our "life" but it felt good to be away from it. Not to be mistaken as depressed. We didn't have anything to be seriously unhappy about. But we were tired. Tired of explanations, tired of thinking of answers, tired of planning, and tired of wondering why it had to happen to us.

We didn't care about "what-if"s. We had silenced those by honesty.
We didn't care about "could have"s. We had the answer.
We didn't care about learning a lesson. We knew how it was taught.

We didn't care about anything we usually cared about.
And we knew we'd probably care too much about not caring too.

The tough thing about life is, going through a same set of emotions which you truly believed you would never have to go through again. It's like telling the same stories, wearing a different dress.

The only difference is, good or bad still undecided, we knew we'd sail through it. We knew that certain things can not be changed through the power of will. And certain things can not be expressed through the power of words.

And we certainly knew, that it was never easy to know if you had done the right thing or not.

We knew that, besides having each other, we'd have to reunite with a lost friend, Faith, again. And we prayed that Hope would not mind too much. We made a great team.

"You guys make me have so much fun" said one of us.

The song had changed.

"
Even if it's a lie, say it will be alright,
And I shall believe....
"
Dayumn.
That woman does know all.



* To those who have been there, done that. You know who you are *

I analyze almost as much as I breathe.

Every situation. Every emotion.

You. Myself. Everyone.

But mostly me.

I wonder if what I feel is right.
I wonder if what I feel is allowed.
I wonder if what I feel is correct.

Yet, I don' t stop feeling.

I make rules for myself. I try to behave.

Yet, I choose to be free spirited.

I choose my words. I control my actions.

Yet, I make mistakes.

I fear of getting hurt. I fear of heartbreak.

Yet, I say "I love you"

I seek attention. I crave company.

Yet, I never want to ask for it.

At the end of the day, I tell myself to be practical.

Yet, I continue to be impulsive.

I go through many emotions, each one I promise will be the last.

Yet, each time it feels as though it's the first.

I console myself saying I'm like everyone else.

Yet, at times I feel all alone.

Analyze then introspect.

Then I realize I can not be anyone else but me.

Predictably unpredictable.

Unpredictably predictable.

A Pure Paradox.

Yours Truly.

I sat in front of him. Looking down. Then out of the window. My eyes darted between looking at my half eaten sandwich and the coffee house window, carefully avoiding his face.
Carefully avoiding him.

My face was calm. Every hair neatly in place. It all effectively concealed the raging emotions, conflicting questions that had taken over my mind.

He would never know. He could never know.

He broke the silence by clearing his throat. I looked at him. With a steady, unwavering gaze devoid of any weak sentiment.

He smiled.

"So, what have you been upto? How have you been? ", he asked.

How have I been ? Did he just ask me how I have been?

I wanted to yell at him, yell at his lame attempt to strike a normal conversation.

Instead, I lied.

"I've been good. How about you?", I replied.

He relaxed a little. I hated him for that. He had no right to relax. Not after what he had done. Or rather, what he had failed to do.

"It's good, met up with a couple of school friends the other day. Felt nice. Thinking of going up North to meet relatives this coming May. Work is anyway light, that time of the year", he said.

I nodded. My mind was still engaged in processing those thousand questions, that were begging to be hurled at him, begging for an explanation.

He spoke on. About his work, his ambitions.

I nodded. Almost mechanically. Flashing him a pseudo sincere smile occasionally.

My mind wouldn't let up.

Why did you leave ? Am I not pretty enough ? Maybe I'm not smart enough ? Do you never think about all those times ? What about all those things you said ? Do I mean anything to you?

He mentioned something about moving away. Meeting his grandparents.

You always move away. I shuddered at the force of that statement.

And then he said something I wasn't prepared for.

"I'm scared", he said. "I don't think I can handle it, you know how long she's been suffering. I can't see her like this. I'm not strong enough."

I looked up, directly into his eyes. And I gulped. He was really scared. Scared of losing his loved one. Scared of accepting that he couldn't do anything about it.

Now you know how I felt. How it hurts. How it pains. And how you need someone, to just say it's going to be alright.

This could be my chance. My chance to teach him a lesson. To make him realize. It would only take one sentence. And it would hit him hard. I just had to....

"You'll be fine", I reached over and patted his hand, and smiled reassuringly. "She's going to make it, believe me. You just hang in there!"

I knew, in that fraction of a second, that I would never know the answers to my questions. I'll never know what went wrong. What he was thinking then, and whether our relationship ever meant anything to him. Whether he thought about me while he was away, or whether he wondered how I was doing.

All I knew was, he needed a friend. And I had to be one. I played my part well. And I played it honestly. And I sealed those feelings, away in a small box somewhere deep, in the back of my mind.

He left, after a couple of days. And he promised to keep in touch. I just listened, knowing very well, that I would probably never hear from him, once he reached his destination.

I knew I had done the right thing, to reach out and help.
Unfortunately doing that right thing, doesn't always provide the relief you'd think it would.

I knew I had no other choice.I knew that my feelings, however agonizing, had no place to be voiced.

But knowing doesn't mean forgetting.

And moving on is always easier said than done.








*Work of fiction. Resemblance to my life is purely due to your unnecessary interpretation. Enjoy it merely as a piece of writing*

Emotions conflicting,
disturbing, depressing.
The people around move,
unknowing, uncaring.

My skin feels second,
my mind seems lost.
Reasons are a million,
no sense at all.

When you say nothing at all

" You say it best,
When you say nothing at all"

I doubt the above mentioned lines need introduction. They are from the much famous song by Ronan Keating (OST of Notting Hill, a hit movie owing to it's attractive Brit hunk, and no I'm not talking about Spike ) sung in a romantic-emotions evoking voice. The classic mushy make -your - heart melt song. And it makes me go "Aaawwww"

Yeh, I'm a fan of the song. My friends tease me over the fact, that no guy will ever find it appropriate to dedicate the song to me, because I usually DO have something to say. I snarl in return. Okay, so I resort to vicious expressions when words fail, but it still falls under the "Saying nothing at all" category. It does!

But they joke, and I ignore. See, saying nothing at all again. And I dream about that bench in the park. The blue house. The handsome Brit hunk. ( No, not Spike! Geez! ) And I smile to myself and say Someday.....

But, reality is quite different than that described by a chart topper. And such discoveries don't take time to sink in.

It, honestly, sucks having nothing to say. Almost suffocating. Like defeat, where you console yourself saying that maybe, just maybe, your silence will make some difference. But then, that's just wishful thinking. And lots of willpower.

It stifles, not being able to express. And not being able to express usually stems from knowing and accepting that what you say won't matter. And that's pretty harsh.

It's better, I guess, to say something wrong. You can apologize later. It's best to say something right. An ego boost, plus instant trust.

Of course, saying nothing at all is different than "choosing" not to say anything. The latter at least leaves you with a feeling of doing good by keeping mum. Having nothing to say at all, that's resignation of thought. Loss of influence. Loss of worth.

It's when you try hard to divert, distract and adopt the " It really doesn't matter to me" attitude. You lie to yourself, though deep down you know you have been beaten.

Romantic or not, I'd rather not have " speechless" moments. I would prefer having the capacity to utter a "Wow", "Amazing", "Oh god!" in situations, rather than be overwhelmed by emotions of disturbing, conflicting nature and build a wall around myself.

I'm sure Paul Overstreet and Don Schlitz did not want me to feel this way. They did include a smile on the face and truth in eyes in the lyrics, and I probably should have let that soothe my agitation. But, that's just me, putting in my two pence.

What do you have to say?

The thing about girls...

Well I'm surprised I never wrote on this topic before! Having been the crush-er, the crush-ee, the cupid, the adviser, and the sympathetic shoulder!

The few things said. Sure most girls can relate ;) Guys can well .... enjoy!

Scenario #1

A : You so like him!
B : No I don't! He is such an ass I tell you! I hate him.
A : Yeah, right! You love him!
B : Idiot! Can't he just reply once! *sigh*
A : *laugh* You are so into this guy!
B: I hate him okay? Now shut up!

Or it could be like....

Scenario # 2

A : So, I heard someone has a crush!?
B : Who who?
A : You!
B : *blush*
A : I do think you are gonna go out with him!He's perfect! He's much better than all those other losers you had crush on! It's gonna work out!
B : Don't jinx it!

or

Scenario # 3

A: Man! He's adorable!
B: Oooohhh..!! So just ask him out!
A: I can't!
B: Why not? Are you too chicken? *giggles*
A: Noooo.... there's another girl!
A + B: Bitch!

or....

Scenario # 4

A: He thinks of me as a good friend
B: Ewww
A: I know... this sucks!
B: Hey, his best friend is kinda cute too you know...
A: Yeah? Actually....

and finally...

Scenario # 5

A: He thinks you are not his type
B: Hello? I'm a girl! How can I NOT be his type?
A: Gay?
B: I'm gonna die single!

I'm expecting comments on this one... :)

The eyes behold
the dreams of a mind
A spirit wishes
to be immortalized

Don't steal my dreams
Don't say it's a lie
Let me breathe
I feel alive

The week that was....and one that will be

I landed a job.

My best friend got an Airtel.
( Money has suddenly become more important to me. Saving it that is )

Taj Mahal is one of the New Seven Wonders.

I will be...

Shopping

Drinking champagne on my cousins 25th birthday

Getting away

Situations show you your true friends.

I'm glad I always saw right.

Dance away

I stood in pose.
Head down.
Hands rested on my thighs.
Hip jutted.
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E.
The word flashed in my mind.
My shoulders became straighter.
I stood taller.


I could hear the C.D. being inserted and the whirring sound it made before the head found the right track. Time to move.

Choreographing this song had been the best experience. It was supposed to be a "sexy" song, and initially, had sent all of us into peals of laughter and had caused a lot of blushing. Now...well....

It started off in a freestyle. We moved and swayed to the music, throwing occasional se..xy..., oh who am I kidding, with pursed lips, narrowed eyes, and loud movements, we were trying to look our sexiest best. I never dared to steal a glance at the guys during this one minute. It was a frightening thought.

Freeze. The girls on either side moved ahead. I followed suit.

One, two, three, four. Step. Step.

Don't stop, don't stop, hissed the girl singing the song.

Butt shake. I stifled a smile. A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E flashed in my mind again.

The song slowed down to a sultry beat, and we went on all fours and crawled ahead. The next step was lovingly termed the "babuji" step by all of us. Man, that Yana Gupta sure made this one look easy.

Twist, twist, move up.

Walk. One, two, three, look over shoulder, four.

Don't stop, don't stop.
Hips sashayed to the music, sending the edge of a flouncy skirt slightly high. Instinctively, four pairs of male eyes glanced in that direction. Boys will be boys.

The music stopped with a final plea of Don't stop, don't stop.
We stood in attention, waiting for the hip hop number to start. I loved this song. It was upbeat, energetic, and sporty. It made you bounce around the place, and the first few days were spent in getting the light spring in every step. It had jerks, swift moves, all oozing out punkish vibes. It made you feel light and carefree while moving. Plus, this sequence had a snazzy mix of Indian jhatkas and Western pump.

The irregular moves now gave way to technically perfect moves for Sean Paul's Temperature. Each move had to be well defined, and perfectly timed.

More hip shakes. More spins. The guys really had strenuous moves. Falls, push -ups, almost like a work out regime!

I got da right temperature to shelter you from da storm....
One, two, three, cross, left, right, move across.
Head, hip, shake, turn
left, right, pose, turn
The guys then took us by the waist and sent us spinning into the centre.

One spin, two spin. stop.

oh I wanna be da Papa...You can be da Mom....oh oh!
Right leg out, one step in, left, right, shake that thing. :P

With one swift movement, the final positions were taken.

Applause.

The choreographer dude then corrected some of us. New positions were decided. Costumes changed.

I was on a high. My mind had nothing but bits and pieces of the various songs mixed in it, creating a soundtrack of my own. My breath was shallow and my limbs ached. Sweat dripped slowly down my back. Loose tendrils of hair stuck on my cheeks.

Once more, he yelled.

I got into position.

I snuck a peek at the watch.

It was just 7 A.M.

At times, I am the shoulder. And then, I need one.
I seek inspiration.
I don't think being taken for granted is a sign of true friendship.
It puzzles me why saying and doing the right thing is always so difficult.
It is easier hiding behind a facade.
Sometimes, I cry myself to sleep. And sometimes, I'm too excited to close my eyes.
It happens to only some of us.
No one can hear a heart breaking.
Life is to be smiled at.
Friends are hard to find.
Memories keep me smiling.
Mercurial.
There are a million things that go through my mind and there are million things I want to say. At times, I wish to say nothing at all.
I'm here but not really.
Whoever said it's hard to break a friendship had no idea what he was talking about.
Things are easily forgotten. Feelings easily ignored.
We are selfish people.
Parents are the world.
New York would be an amazing city to live in.
Moments of clarity are often delusional.
Friendship is tolerance.
Trust is an oxymoron.
Loneliness breeds introspect.


I had to say something. I have no idea where I got lost

There it stood. Tall. In all its glory.

Beautiful.

Mesmerizing.

Enchanting.

A rose.

It made everyone stop and stare. A second look definitely.
Kids called it pretty. Females cooed. Men admired.

Pompous and vain.
But gorgeous nevertheless.

The ordinary ferns on either side enhanced its appeal.

Attractive. Alluring.

But it wasn't long before it started shedding. Wilting.
With that came a pervasive noisome odor.

The odor that reeked of dying vanity, and short lived glamour.

I always wonder why I love roses.
.

A double game,
of mind and heart,
Joy and ecstasy,
or a crash and fall

A fleeting glance,
a simple smile,
the touch of your hand,
the sound of your voice

Trust over betrayal,
reserved and coy,
emotions overwhelm,
as hearts entwine

A bond can be grown,
or tears can be shed,
Passion and love,
or agony and regret ?

5 super heroes a girl must date

I love The Incredibles. Absolutely love them. They are fun. They are cool. AND they wear my favourite colour - RED!

Super heroes rock.

As a child, they provide you inspiration by fighting off evil. As a teenager, they provide you a mental sketch of your perfect guy.(I'm the Spiderman type.Ahem. MJ- get it? :P ) And once you get married, they probably make you look at your ordinary, pot-bellied husband with certain amount of disdain.

Super heroes rock.

And here's a compilation of five of the most date-worthy super-men....

1) Superman
Ever feared the day you'll introduce your beau to your parents? It's like nothing seems appropriate enough. And you can just about imagine the scowl on your parents face when you start off with "Mom, dad, I'd like you to meet......", or even "Hey mom and dad! Remember how you used to always say, someday you'll find the right guy? weeelllll.... ::big grin and suggestive eyes:: ...", or "Mom and Dad.Meet _______. I'm kinda, okay, like sorta like seeing him?".

Everything just spells out failure.

WHICH is why Superman becomes guy - to - date # 1. Why? Imagine your parents going "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's supppppeerrrrrmaaann!!"

And then you, oh so nonchalantly, modestly, offhandedly announce that the bird-plane combo man has grabbed your fancy. Sweet, ain't it?

Ooh, a lil secret. The underpants worn outside are actually a source of power.

Don't ask me how I know.

2) Spiderman
Alright, I have no idea as to how many girls agree with me here, but swinging the alleys of New York on dainty spider-spun thread has always been a secret fantasy of mine.

Plus, any guy who can kiss upside down in rain certainly deserves a piece of my heart.

And yeah, the guy looks good in spandex.

3) Batman
A spin in the bat-mobile is reason enough.

Plus men with a 6 pack wearing black leather are hard to resist. Ah-men!

Oh oh, and Batman's secret identity is Bruce Wayne, who is a philanthropist, playboy, AND a billionaire industrialist. Now how about that?


4)Max Evans
Doubt many know this sensitive, intelligent and intense alien from Antar currently residing in Roswell, New Mexico, USA, Earth, but he is a catch!

With only a deposit of cadmium-X, he can heal you in a minute!

It's like Maxie Poo (I swear some girls say that!) I cut myself! I'm bleeding! And voila, silver hand print and new skin! Makes the whole damsel in distress act more worthwhile too.

*Sigh*

Think the same works on blemishes and flabby skin? Hmm....


5) Zorro
Zorro. The enigmatic Don Diego de la Vega. I'm still trying to get over the way the name rolls off my tongue.

A sensitive swashbuckler who dances the flamenco (or is it the tango? ) like nobody's business!?!
(Still not over the Don Diego de la Vega...and dance is in the picture? )

Zorro, indeed, is vhery vhery vhi-gho-rhous!

Plus, I love the signature 'Z'.

I'll be his Senorita anytime.


And with that, I now return to my world with normal men.

NORMAL men.

I hate normalcy.

Recently, I discovered that I can be a pain in the ass for myself. Especially when I have no idea what to do. Like now.

Phone calls don't end up lasting more than a few minutes. Music is played but not heard. The ones you have been meaning to avoid are online. There's nothing to watch on T.V. Radio talks about broken relationships. The refrigerator provides no junk food. All the movie CDs are kept in your parents room, which is not accessible at this hour. You have tons to do, but no will to do it. And that just pisses you off more.

I thought and thought of ways to amuse myself. Maybe try dancing, but I was too lazy to get off my ass and move. Singing would not be much appreciated by neighbours. Going out for a drive was not even an option.

I decided to seek solace through the phone. Not that it helped. My three best friends were placed as follows: one in a disc, with a discharged cellphone. The other with a cold and helping a friend with girlfriend issues. And the third was trying to make hand drawn charts for some show and planning a strategy to reach college first and put the lovely creations up. Other few were not reachable, not on talking terms or not worth it.

Then there was the another cheaper and quieter mode. Short message service. But after a while, when I realised people were either more bored or having too much fun to bother about me, even that lost its charm.

So, I had two options..

1) Get to work and start composing my seminar abstract
2) Sulk, crib and sulk?

The second was way more appealing. So I sulked.

Having absolutely no one around to sympathize, I decided I was being an idiot. So even sulking was given up.

Then, desperate to do something, and get rid of the boredom that was now engulfing me in its miserable and pathetic vastness, I decided to BLOG!

Thankfully, I hadn't lost the will to blog yet.

Yes, applaud now! Thank you, thank you, you are too kind! Ok, cut the crap

So, I thought I'll make a list of all the things that cheer me up, hoping to be left in a slightly better frame of mind after I penned everything down....

So here goes nothing....

I love....

1) Dancing in front of the mirror

2) Loud music in the morning

3) Bear hugs

4) Late night calls that last for hours

5) More bear hugs

6) Unwrapping gifts

7) Chocolate - pure chocolate

8) Long drives

9) Wrapping gifts

10) Making popcorn and watching a movie with mom and dad

11) Day dreaming

12) Fighting and making up

13) Shopping

14) Getting together with friends and doing absolutely nothing

15) Waking up to discover that today is NOT a bad hair day!

ok...so this is working.....

16) Cliche, sentimental, sappy movies

17) Realistic, hard-hitting, critically acclaimed movies

18) Huge bouquet of flowers

19) Anything sweet- can be human or edible

20) Random bitching

21) Looking at old photos

22) Writing

23) Reminiscing

24) Acting crazy

25) Silly jokes

26) Tapori Songs

27) Playing pranks

28) Strawberry scented toiletries

29) Uninhibited laughter

30) Feelin' better

Here I go, high on my own......

New Year, New Everything

New Year. There's something very final and at the same time initial about it. There's excitement. And nostalgia. It's as if you have finished scripting and editing a chapter in your book, and all set to write a new one, though you are completely unaware of what to write.

There's so much you leave behind, though you probably carry much more into the new year.Hopes, ambitions, aspirations, wishes, and good will.As a daughter, you hope your parents find all the happiness they deserve.As a friend, you hope your friends keep laughing and stay sane.For yourself, you wish so many things.In general, you wish the world tries to be a happy place, because that's what everyone deserves.

I think all of us turn into sentimental schmucks this time of the year.We reminisce, we smile, we laugh, we hug, we cry, we cheer, and we partake in every possible merry activity, in hopes that the new year will be brighter, happier and sweeter.

Never has the daily event of night turning into day held so much importance.And never has it given so much anticipation.

The same Sun, we curse every other morning, is now much revered.

Of course, there's a lot that goes into making that one day special. Booking for 'the perfect' place to celebrate starts months in advance with prices doubling every other day.New Years' bashes start advertising themselves, claiming to provide the ultimate party experience.Invitee passes remind you of the importance of having 'superior connections' and every piece of clothing comes with the 'pay more, for less' tag.

With so many choices and opinions, it's not surprising that most of us have no clue as to what to do to welcome the new year.Some of us prefer to have a mellow evening at home, with family and close friends, ending a year of togetherness and starting another, with promises to always be there for each other, no matter what.Others prefer to be in a place that is abuzz with the indescribable New Year vibe.And there are others, like me, who are often torn between hitting the clubs or spending an evening in quiet company.

But no matter how you spend the evening, where you spend it,and with whom you do, the reason for celebrating is, more or less, the same. We all face the New Year with 365 multiplied by age amount of memories, stored somewhere deep within the heart and tucked away in mind, making space for another 365, good, bad or ugly ones.

Frankly speaking, I had lost all hopes of enjoying New Years' after plans of heading down to Goa were canceled.Nothing seemed enjoyable enough. And it all seemed impossible to co-ordinate.I'll spare you the details of how everything eventually worked out, and jump directly to tell you that it will definitely go down as one of the cutest and nicest New Year celebration.I mean, I ended up coming home at 4, so it outta have been fun right? :)

The night, spent in the company of close friends, though I would have preferred few others joining in, was full of laughter, new acquaintances hitting it off, and sharing the best and worst moments of 2006.

2006.It was over.But I could still remember each day as if it were only yesterday.The feelings were still fresh.Incidents, accidents, and moments still clear.Some brought a smile, and some misty eyes.But they all existed, in a sequence, each time stirring the same emotions.

2007.A new notebook, and I just wanted to snatch it, take a pen, and start scribbling before anyone beat me to it.And I already had a memory.

Morning of 2007.My mom, my best friend and I.For the first time, just talking, without any hurry or interruption.We spoke of nothing significant, a few experiences, yet it was the best conversation one could have over a steaming cup of tea.

I don't know what the year ahead will bring.It's inviting and scary.But what I do know is that my super cool parents and crazy friends will still continue to 'unconditionally' love me (aaww come on!), and I'll still be the same ol' me, much wiser of course, but still preferring not to disclose it. :)

The truth is, there is nothing "new" in the year.Everything is just better because we improved.