Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Of life and pain :)

There are two types of people in this world.

One, who believe in everything that is good.
And the second, who chose not to believe in everything that is good.

And they both suffer from pain.

What happens to the first kind is, they can still reflect on this pain with warmth, and smile through it. They stare the world in the face, and ask for more. They live without fear, and with a renewed vigour.

The second kind feel vulnerable. They live with apprehension, always afraid to take that plunge and make that leap. They fear there won't be anyone to catch, should they fall, never realizing that they could make the perfect landing.

The first breathe life, and the second exhale it.

The first kind stand, touch and look up. The second kind shirk, wallow, and cave in.

The first kind feel they are beyond the pain. And the second kind feel they cannot bear the pain.

And the funny thing is, both have already borne the pain.

*Inspired from a quote by Saint Bartholomew. It goes "Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain.But you have already borne the pain. what you have not done is feel you are beyond the pain." *

Friday, January 15, 2010

Drown your sorrows in chocolate...

I feel crappy often enough.

And I usually cry it out, or crib about it, or just get some friend to give me a big hug.

Or I sulk. Like today!

But then, there was this one thing I had forgotten I used to do.

Few years ago, an artistic friend and a docile and disbelievingly innocent friend of mine, along with me, were attempting to crack the toughest exam in India, the IIT-JEE. Ok, we weren't attempting, we were kidding ourselves with thoughts of.

So, we used to do miserably. I don't even have to say I'm not kidding.

This used to upset that innocent friend of mine. And I couldn't stand her being like that.

So, in a very chirpy voice, which I could carry off then, I used to tell her,

"Let's drown our sorrows in some nice chocolate icecream!!"

Today, about four years later, I sat feeling like a useless thing..person. I was a clumsy daughter, a never there friend, and recently I had started spitting fire.

And this upset me.

I guess she couldn't stand me being like that.

So, in a very chirpy voice, which she can carry off, she said,

"Let's drown our sorrows in some nice chocolate icecream!!"

I never knew she actually did.

The beauty of friendship is that your friends can remember these little things you used to say and do, and love you for the same. And when you feel like complete scum, they can make you feel like lovable scum. And they remind you, that you are important. Cheers to friendship!

I'm really sorry for not being the nicest person to have around. A big fat thank you to all of you for being tolerant and nice, nevertheless. I can only hope, I deserve it :)

Monday, January 04, 2010

Should stick to writing blog posts.

* wails *