For that small, flitting grain of time....

I wish I could write a mindset altering piece.
One that would make people believe in existence of good. One that would bring goosebumps. One that will sear irrational convictions to bring about a radiant flush within the mind. Write words that would evoke feelings of togetherness and harmony. Words that deftly yet subtly signify some meaning of existence and humanity, providing solace to troubled, questioning minds. Some father would keep it, hoping to inspire his child. Some mother would read it, just before she kissed goodnight. And maybe some young adult, would wipe away a tear, smiling wistfully as he acknowledged the truth, the one he knew deep inside and the one that I'd written. A naive young teenager, would use it to calm herself, when she felt that tussle between her mind and heart. And somewhere, few of the words would be inscribed, in rock, for the world to see, and feel..... forever.


I wish I could dance on a big stage.
A combination of ballet, salsa and contemporary. Throw in a jumpy jive too, while I'm at it.
It'd be an exhilarating, new choreography, fresh and meaningful. Wear a beautiful dress, one with tassels and a flare. A dress that would encircle the waist with each spin and then flare out. And silver stilettos. The dance, the music, the theme would thrill the audience, draw them in, and leave them with a feeling of having made the best investment of money. The critics would describe it as "Sensational" and aspiring dancers would emulate. And it's essence would be captivating, and used in creative forms, to entice... and so would erupt a feeling, that could only be described as indescribable.



I wish I could be whisked away.
To an exotic location. With exotic food.
And spend the evening dining with a man, who is head over heels in love with me.
We'd discuss literature, movies, life, him, me and all that with potential of making the experience unforgettable. Oh, and there would be flirting too. The witty, classy type. And the plain cheesy. He'd wear the perfect shade of white. And have the mischievous, lop-sided, dimpled grin that would melt my heart. And then he'd ask me to dance, and we'd end the evening with a rumba on Celine Dion's Falling into You.

I wish I could live a million lifetimes in each breath.
I wish each emotion could be wholly expressed.
I wish my words could be written into a book.

I wish I could strike a chord within your heart.
I wish you'd smile when you saw me laugh.
I wish my glow could light your way.


I wish I could live on in your dreams...
And be unforgettable...
If not for a lifetime, you'd at least remember me,
For that small, flitting grain of time

Manhood and Haha-ness

So there's a group of three guys and a girl hanging out one night. The usual gibbering lead to an interesting topic. The talk was regarding the killing of dolphins off the coast of Denmark, by young teens, as a sign of attaining maturity and proving their manhood.

The conversation went something like this.....

Girl: Sick man. That's just appalling.

Guy1, Guy2, Guy3: I know. Sick.

Long Pause.

Guy1: Sick.

Long pause.

Girl: Well, if they really want to prove their manhood, they should just get a girl pregnant. She gets pregnant, and there, you have cleared all doubts. Done.

Guy1: Actually!!

Guy2: Hmm..true!

Guy3: Really!


Pause.

Guy3(while looking up at the ceiling): But then the human rights activists would come running.....

Girl: I didn't mean forcefully dude!!

Uproarious laughter.


**The Dolphin killing in Denmark is probably true.

I can't understand why people make such a big deal out of their first love.

Is it not your last love that's important?

That's the one that lasts.

And I shall believe...

I'm an ardent believer of positive thinking. I believe in laughing loud.
I believe it when they say all ends well.
I believe it when they say every moment in life is worth cherishing.

I clap when the hero rescues the damsel from a cruel, disgusting looking villain. ( No, I don't believe he can save the world. I'm sensible that way).
And I believe in happily ever afters.

Hell, I'll believe any sappy-triumphant story you tell me. Be it of life, love, humanity, compassion, ambition.

And then I realize I don't live in a three hour motion picture.

I see that sometimes it's too late for all to be well.

And some moments in life are better best forgotten.

I see that heroes get sidelined by caste, creed, and money.

And a happily ever after... is like an adult version of the Santa Claus.

I see that mere resolve fails to make a heroic story. And deciding to save the world or whatever you hold in the highest esteem, doesn't happen by you saying, "Hold on, I'm coming!".

But you probably knew that already.

I, however, stubbornly refuse to give up my right of clapping, cheering, and saying, "Ha! I told you so!".. because you see...

Even if it's lie...
Say it will be alright...
And I shall believe....

A warm fuzzy memory

There is something inherently fond about memories. And something pleasantly unpredictable.
Somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind, beneath layers of information, lies this small little movie clip of your life, shot at some arbit point in time, which is capable of sending warm fuzziness throughout your entire being.

It makes you glow and smile, probably looking like an idiot to a third person, or even a second person, but who cares? Give me that tingly sentimental funny feeling anytime.

I feel simply awesome having all these pictures in my head. Those "Oh my god, did I just say that?", the "This is NOT happening to me", the "This is happening to ME? ME!", the "Yey! I Did it!", the "Why god Why", the "I love life!", the "Whee" moments, the "Hmpf" moments, the "Awww.." moments, and the.. sigh.

They come scented, they emote. They let us hold on to our past, while defining our future.
Snapshots of us, once upon a time, when we dared to do something spectacular, something remarkable..

Something that was worthy enough... of becoming a warm fuzzy memory.

Riddle me...

You riddle me with these questions,
Of what a future can hold,
Curious, my mind begins to wonder,
How these mysteries will finally unfold

You riddle me on my dreams,
And if I really can seize the day,
Defensive, my mind begins to go over,
The actions that have led me this way

You riddle me on my thoughts,
Like you can see the drama in which they play,
Befuddled, my mind begins to muse about,
The transparency I seem to portray

You riddle me with these questions,
Of what's said and done, the right and wrong,
And then I try to explain it to you,
And you smile, like you have known the answers all along

Unwritten...

I am unwritten....
Can't read my mind...
I'm undefined...

I'm just beginning...
The pen's in my hand...
Ending unplanned...

Staring at the blank page before you...
Open up the dirty window...
Let the sun illuminate the words...
That you can not find...

Reaching for something in the distance...
So close, you can almost taste it...
Release your inhibitions...

It is simply brilliant how some words can reach right into your heart, mind, or whatever that little something is that defines you, and touch you to the extent of giving you goosebumps.

Whenever I listen to this song, I imagine myself flying freely, unbound, and light as a feather.

High over the hustles of daily life, of inhuman expectations, of gigantic ambitions, that float as a cloud in my mind.

Way over the fear of failure, of loss, of unrequited love, of if and buts.

Somewhere, where reasons are not needed because everything falls into its nice little niche.

Feel the rain on your skin...
No one else can feel it for you...
Only you can let it in...
No one else..

It allows me to feel uninhibited, even when things are askew.

It makes me feel like dancing, makes me forget what happened yesterday, day before, last week, last month, last year.

It stops me from wondering about what might happen tomorrow, and how it could change things for me.

It allows me to savour that moment, that transient moment, moments, minute, time.

It speaks to me.
It boosts me.
And it puts a big fat smile on my face, raring to go laugh at the world, for the little jokes it plays.

It overwhelms me with an intangible feeling of confidence, of self respect, of power.

Of worth.

No one else..
can speak the words on your lips..
Drench yourself in words unspoken..
Live your life with arms wide open..

Today is..
where your books begins...

The rest is still unwritten...

And I keep writing...


*Unwritten is a song by Natasha Bedingfield.

A little something

There's always a little something inside of us.
A little something that keeps talking to us. That keeps evaluating us.
That judges, praises, punishes, pushes.

A little something that makes us unique.
A little something that sets us apart.
A little something that makes others love us.
A little something that allows a peek into us.

A little something made out of everyday experiences.
Of ephemeral emotions. Of passing thoughts. Of impacting words.

A little something strung by fleeting memories.
By secret dreams. By rising ambitions. By unflagging hope.

A little something fed from conflicting observations.
From self realisations. From worldly proverbs. From momentous principles.

A little something grown through revelation.
Through redemption. Through fortitude. Through incitement.

A little something that has survived hurt.
Disappointment. Ecstasy. Agony. Anxiety.

A little something that leads to great beginnings.
A little something that ensures a satisfying end.

A little something that grows bigger everyday.
But a little something which will always be little, in these many ways.

Release...

Release me of these feelings,
None that I understand,
This sadness and this longing,
An emptiness that keeps haunting

Release me from the tears,
that fall free from my eyes,
Release me of this illusion,
that one day you would be mine

Release me from these pangs,
that I hide behind a smile
Release me of this hollowness,
that suddenly awakes at night

Release me of your hold,
this power you seem to have,
Release me of this notion,
that if I go, you'd be sad

Release me of that day,
when I told you how I felt,
Release me of this regret,
the blow that I've been dealt

Release me of the urge,
to tell you what I feel,
Release me of thinking,
of a dream that can't be real

Release me from this self,
Release me from this phase,
Release me from this losing battle,
that I fight everyday

The Lil Mermaid

Utterly romantic, silly, naive,
the girl in her, spun and weaved,
magic in every dream she dreamt,
trusted her heart, wherever it went

Ways of the world, crooked and twisted,
Ruthless acts and words so pointed,
Neither she skipped nor danced nor laughed,
Neither she knew, how to mend a broken heart

She fell and bruised, and nights she cried,
Wished upon the stars, their light belied,
She tried to turn her heart to stone,
But so many feelings, would quickly unfold

Soon, a gentle calm she felt,
a little whisper, to her it said,
In Trials, Life isn't about giving up hope,
neither sitting nor standing, just staying afloat

Laugh louder when happy, and cry to ease the pain,
A truth sought effort, never goes in vain,
Companions you'll meet, while you trod along the way,
Some will travel with you, some just a day

Then the peace within you, will stand you against the storm,
it's not a miracle, and definitely not a lucky charm,
it's a gift to you, by a power so strong,
an inner self, an inner strength reborn


* I'm sure you are wondering.... why that title? ;) *

I love...

I love how you try to hide your yawn, when I'm talking too much...

I love that you think my hair is like my personality...

I love when you act crazy with me on the phone...

I love how you enjoy talking in baby language with me..

I love the way you get excited at the idea of us on a road trip...

I love the way you yell my name when you meet me...

I love how you always give me the bigger piece of chocolate...

I love how innocent you act when I catch you doing so...

I love how a lead character reminds you of me...

I love how you make it a point to tell me about the latest book you have read...

I love how you think my life is an adventure when the reality of it is otherwise...

I love how you make up new nicknames for me, because you don't want to call me what others do...

I love how you sleep on my swing, waiting for me to get home...

I love how you blame your camera for making me look fat...

I love how you say I'm family...

I love how you say your heart breaks when I'm not at a party...

I love the fact that you like me being shorter to you...

I love how you ask me where all I'm going to take you when you come into town...

I love how you tousle my hair when you feel proud of me..

I love how you crib when I say no to a plan...

I love how you call me to discuss a brilliant game of tennis...

I love how you flirt with me...

I love when you demand something to eat. And then apologise for it...

I love the fact that we wear the same size...

I love how you can come over, at anytime...

I love how you let me blame your phone, when the line disconnects...

I love how you make my favourite meal when you feel I've had a bad day...

I love how you call me to say my favourite movie is on...

I love how quiet you get when you think you have hurt me...

I love how you convince me of myself...

I love how angry you get when I feel I'm not worth it...

I love how you delete pictures of me I don't like...

I love how you make me laugh...

I love the fact that you want an autographed copy of my first book...

I love how you complete my sentences...

I love how happy you get when I praise a song you recommended...

I love how you smile when I give you a spontaneous hug...

I love how you send me a message first thing in the morning, when you miss my call at night...

I love how insatiably curious you get when I say, "I have to tell you something!"...

I love when you ask me if I'm awake, before you call at night...

I love how you keep changing the radio stations so I won't be bored while driving...

I love how you hold my hand while crossing...

I love the way you look at me when I'm involved in a movie...

I love how much thought you put into buying me a gift...

I love how you help me clean my room after a sleepover...

I love the fact that you pick up something for me when you go shopping...

I love how you console me when I feel heartbroken...

I love how you listen to my opinion while making an important decision...

I love how you worry that I don't get enough rest...


And

I love that you have read till the end.


*To the 'You' s who make each day special. This is my thank you*

Slipping away.....

Slipping away...
to revive a paradise lost...
Into the depth of my mind,
my labyrinth of thoughts

Slipping away...
to sleep in a bed of wishes...
Into a cocoon of warmth,
and pleasant little niches

Slipping away...
far from a reality that bites...
Into another sought,
of sunshine bright light

Slipping away....
I now realise who's me...
I travel my own path,
I wasn't born to follow thee

Of that can be.....

A thought a minute,
every day, every night,
Smiles and tears,
of happiness and fright

The silent longing,
The wish, the hoping
Light, then darkness
Rising and falling

Caught in a cage,
of the minds own,
This love, this want,
To have and to hold

And the eyes speak,
what wishes to be said,
The heart then flutters,
from the touch it lead

Such are these feelings,
powerful to be shown,
Yet daring to go beyond
Times barriers unknown

So set sail,
In a realm of dreams,
A journey then begins,
Of possibilities

Ache

A million stars sparkled in the sky.
I stood alone. I stared. Their beauty lost on me.

And a part of me ached.

Not the heart wrenching kind, when you cry till you have no tears left.
But the kind in which the tears stay in your eyes, unnoticed, unless someone looks closely.

The dull, soft kind.

The kind that stays with you for small periods of time. Everyday.

The kind you talk yourself out of, only to be reminded once before you sleep.
And once when you wake up.

The kind that you smile through, so no one thinks you are weak.
So you don't think you are weak.

The kind that makes you wish you could turn back time, take back words, and change your feelings.

The kind that proves irony.

The kind that makes every moment enjoyed, larger than life, yet fleeting.

The kind that lets you breathe, but never that deep.

But it is also....

The kind that makes you accept.

The kind that empowers in the strangest of ways.

The kind that makes you fearless even while losing the battle.

The kind that makes you appreciate the beauty of honesty.

The kind that shows you the power of love.

The kind that makes you believe in a better tomorrow simply because you lived truly.....your today.